SCANNER vs the Void introduction.

Banner is by one of my friends from 8chan, Rocket Racoon.

Who am I?

My name is Joshua Adam-Smith, but I'm also known in some circles as SCANNER; this is because when I posted in 4chan (for those uninitiated, 4chan is an imageboard with huge communities all posting comments and pictures to each other), I used a printer/scanner to scan my doodles from University and use those images as an avatar for myself. Also, my favourite film was A Scanner Darkly.

Back then, there were these threads in /b/- Random called 'Circlejerk' threads, where people  created avatars for themselves from their favourite media. These threads were banned from 4chan, no idea why, so I used my doodles as an avatar so I could argue that I'm making 'Original Content' that people from that board was crying for. It didn't really work. 

So to summarize, I'm an avatarfag from 4chan's /b/, now posting in 8chan's own circlejerk board, /animus/.

Why am I making a blog?

Short answer, I'm doing it for the love of my friends and to combat boredom. Long answer is a doozy. Exactly a year ago I suffered from a drug induced psychosis, I was posting bizarre things on my facebook, such as posting my cock hidden through a QR Code, or peculiar pictures with bizarre cryptic clues in order to beat systems and cause hilarious havoc. I was making my own Alternate Reality Game I think. All through '2Bit', a name I given for my 2DS and called it my robotic butler.

When a concerned friend called the hospital due to fears that I finally lost my marbles, I was taken into hospital and was told to 'wait for the doctor' to assess the damage. In my warped mind, I thought I was waiting for Doctor Who and was being used for a fucked up PR Campaign. I also thought MI5 had took an interest in me, so to impress these invisible forces, I swallowed a sim card from my phone (I didn't feel any discomfort shitting it out so I think I got a lucky break that it didn't melt in my insides) and that was when my doctor made the call and sent me to a mental hospital.

It took a month for me to regain my sanity, I was still logged into the Alternate Reality Game I made for myself. I thought branded clothes held secret messages, like the brand 'Under Armour' was a cue to trust this person because they protected by an unseen security firm. I had a pink shirt with a puffin on it and I thought I was supposed to wear it to indicate everything is peaceful, because I thought it was an anagram for Peace Until Further Notice. PUFN, Puffin, makes sense in a fucked up way, don't it? Plus I thought I had to wear my shoes to indicate the problem of fossil fuels because they had 'Diesel' written on them. I had a month of this silly shit, till the meds kicked in and the weed was finally out of my system, and a few convincing arguments till I knew that no one was out to get me.

What made you lose your mind and how did you get it back?

It wasn't just the weed. I was isolated and I had to give up one of my prized possessions, my Alienware 17 laptop which I cherished. I had to trade it in because I was overdrawn £40 from a water bill. There was also a hole in my roof that no-one came to fix, which compounded stress. So I didn't have the support net of the internet, the coping mechanisms I had were gone along with the many videogames I had on my laptop. I was withdrawn from the world, all I had was my little butler 2Bit. When I moved back in my house, a great anxiety enveloped me. I thought I was a failure. That laptop had been my life and no without it, life is dull, life is empty, life is a big fucking void. I had to check myself back into the mental hospital because I couldn't stand living without any outlet, petty, I know. But now I've moved out of Clockface, my old apartment, and now live in Supported Accommodation where I see a social worker 2 hours a day. Oh, and I got my gaming computer back.

That still doesn't explain why you're writing a blog.

Well now that I got my marbles back, life is dull and boring. No one is out to get me, no one really gives a shit; after my episode I realized that the world isn't as dangerous or exciting as I made it out to be. I'm now suffering from a deluge of apathy. I'm battling against a massive void where my psychosis would be. I'm no longer stressed, but bored. So I made it my mission to beat this emptiness and hopefully beat yours too. And it starts with a song and a promise. I promise to fight this blankness and share my experiences on how to cope with the void.